In July, I delivered a 10 pound, 11 ounces baby without medication. One of the benefits to my experience was that because I saw primarily midwives, the last ultrasound we had of our baby was at 20 weeks, and he was perfectly normal size at that point. I say this is a benefit, because I’m 100% certain that had I know I was about to have an almost 11 pound baby, I would have chickened out about my ability to have my baby without medication.
My point in writing this is not to tell you how awesome I am (although I am PRETTY proud of myself). The point is that my baby’s birth taught me a very important gospel principle. I am a person who likes to know everything. My parents used to call me Ears because I would always eves-drop on their conversations simply because I liked to be in-the-know. I’m the same with God. Often, when I don’t know what’s about to happen in my life or why something is going on, I get really frustrated with God. I think, “God, if I only knew what was going on, I would be so much happier/eager to follow you/ready to help someone, etc….” In the case of my baby’s birth though, I had complete faith in my body’s abilities and in God’s ability to help me through childbirth. I wasn’t worried about how big the baby was going to be, and to be totally honest, it never even crossed my mind that I would have a giant baby. Since I did that, I’m totally convinced that I was able to do what I did: labor for two days and push out a giant of a baby.
There are a lot of things in life that God simply isn’t going to let us in-the-know about. Everyone will have times where they stand on the edge of a dark cliff and God asks them to take a step without knowing if there’s someone or something there to hold their foot. These are essential faith building times in both God and in ourselves. We need to trust God enough to know that he will not let us fall, and we need to trust ourselves enough to know that we are following God’s will. Not knowing is hard, but it can be a glorious thing.